He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
