Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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