the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
