No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It was a blind-side dick pic.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
