I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
