question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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