It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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