Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
