Are we in a gay sports bar?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
What drink are we having for lunch?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
