Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
