It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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