you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
