Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
