Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
