You really coming over, don't trick.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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