You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
