We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
