Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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