im about as happy as oj after his trial
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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