My brain says no but my pants say off.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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