I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
