I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
