He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
