Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just found puke in my bra..
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
