He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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