Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
