If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
