Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
