Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
