Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
