At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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