Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
soo... how was my night?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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