Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
