So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
