so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
