after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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