hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
