I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
