im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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