Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Ladies don't puke and tell
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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