can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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