ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
