He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
