who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
