No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
