She's JV to your varsity
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
