So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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