the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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