Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
