if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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