do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
