yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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