i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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